A letter from Ralph

Dear , Dear Ralph,

Such a sad situation. I can not even imagine the suffering that you must be in as myself and rotundedness are one in the same. So, as usual, you have asked the right one for advice.

The best advice I can give is to tell you how I managed to get to the size that I am. I do not allow ANYONE else to eat unless I am eating first. I do not allow ANYONE to eat unless I am full and satisfied. I take food from whomever I want , whenever I want and dare them to stop me. I kick, scream , bite , push , shove and do WHATEVER it takes so that I get all and as much food as I want at any time that I want it.

Taking blood pressure pills in an effort to end it all was a stupid move, it only got your stomach pumped and you lost whatever food was in there to begin with. Get smart man, get smart. Think outside the dog food box.

Do you understand Ralph ? Do you have teeth Ralph ? Can you bite or growl ? What height are you ? If you are of a shorter stature you can begin with taking food from those grandchildren things that our caretakers think so highly of , you can knock down one of them for a cookie can't you? If they think that is wrong, lick faces, you can get alot of calories from baby food. Or you can sit under the high chair and nab the dropped stuff, be extra cute and funny and the kid will throw stuff just to watch you .

If that won't work for you can you push a chair? can you push it to the counter ? can you push it to the counter a dinner time ? Do they clean up everything after meals? Can you get to a trash can. Are you getting my drift here ????

Dogs are suppose to be smart Ralph, just staring at the gluttons as you slowly starve to death isn't being too bright, take charge man, take charge.

All in Sweet Love ,

Daisy